There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
