I faked an abortion last night.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
