Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
