no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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