he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
