quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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