I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
