The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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