I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
