the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
