allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
