Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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