Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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