i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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