i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
