Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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