It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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