drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
