Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Holy shit dude........stairs
Will exercising make me less horny?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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