We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
