quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
