Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
