I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
