is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So much Jack, so little girl.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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