I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
