Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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