This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
