i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
