what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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