Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
