The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
