i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
