your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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