My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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