The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize