Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There r osticjed everywhere
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize