chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
