Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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