remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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