It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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