WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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