He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
