glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
