i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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