College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
