After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
