I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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