So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
