I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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