I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
