I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
