this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just found puke in my bra..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
