Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
