i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
