we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
