He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
