Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
