I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize