Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
