i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
