oh god the rape fog is back!
if only i could text you this smell
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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