Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
