quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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