I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
