Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
