I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
