I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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